emotions running up and down in ma head. wad to say.. anger? sad? happy? confused? frustrated?.... hai ! the onli thing i can say now is jus hai! hai! hai! hai! hai! hai!. yep. it sucks.

{8:01 AM}

i hate myself for not being able to bring them here to see you for the last time. i hate myself for not being able to stop thinking of the happy times we shared and stop crying about it. i hate myself for not being able to spend more time with you in the past. i hate myself for not discovering you were sick long ago. i hate myself for not being able to do ask doctor to discharge you even i know you yearn for it. i hate myself for i want to do so much more for you. i hate maself for not being able to stop this all from happening. i hate maself that i have to see you leave just liddat. i hate maself for everything. onli guilt and so much other feelings inside me. happy that you received salvation but upset that you've gone away,.....feel maself breakin down. the only thing i am able to do now is just to hold on to ma memories of you and hope that up there in heaven, you're doing smth greater than you have done here.

{8:56 AM}

{7:11 AM}

As long as stars shine down from heavenAnd the rivers run into the seaTil the end of time foreverYou're the only love I'll needIn my life You're all that mattersIn my eyes the only truth I seeWhen my hopes and dreams have shatteredYou're the one that's there for meWhen I found You I was blessedAnd I will never leave You, I need YouChorus:Imagine me without YouI'd be lost and so confusedI wouldn't last a day, I'd be afraidWithout You there to see me throughImagine me without YouLord, You know it's just impossibleBecause of You, it's all brand newMy life is now worthwhileI can't imagine me without YouWhen You caught me I was fallingYou're love lifted me back on my feetIt was like You heard me callingAnd You rush to set me freeWhen I found You I was blessedAnd I will never leave You, I need YouChorusWhen I found You I was blessedAnd I will never leave You, I need You ohChorusI can't imagine me without You

{8:17 AM}

When you're hurting

My heart it breaks

Knowing I caused you

To feel this ache

When disappointed in me

All I can do is cry

Hurts to know I did this

Need you to understand why

Letting me lean on you

From oceans away

Keeping me strong

Giving me hope to stay

Telling me when things

Get too heavy for me

My burdens you will carry

All your love giving to see

The story of my life

Nothing but pain and sorrow

You have taught me

There's always a tomorrow

Each day I wake

Find your hand to hold

Smile on your face for me

Worth more than any gold

My wish for you

Happiness all your days

To wake with a peaceful heart

For this I always pray

{1:46 AM}

jus feel well.. very fed up.. pissed off.. and i wan to slap the republic poly people lor! the way they do things! keep dragging! wad is wrong with them man! for work.. i jus feel.. its really boring .. nothing to do and get paid 800.. like duh.. travelling expenses.. aiya.. i dunno lei.. keep having lots of things in my mind.. so tired lo... tired tired tired tired.. bleh bleh bleh.

{5:42 AM}